To, overall, free oneself:
Bemoan and convalesce.

A fierce Soviet pirate may counteroffer a crown.
Double duplex a fine back

Jim was on another one of those “Discover and Reinvent Yourself” trips, organized by Bamboocha inc. He joined one, every month, dispite seeing no progress, through it. He was kind of a lost soul.

On this journey were other people, trying to find point in life as well. The group usuall remained the same. Sometimes a new person came, another time, someone else left. It was like a self-help group. Despite their common goal, they were all strangers. Jim ad probably spoken with maybe 2 people during the 16 trips, he has gone on with Bamboocha inc. But this time, his journey took an unexpected turn.

The group of 14 was on a small dingy probably meant for only 3-5 people. The sides were rusted and despite being in water, the boat still squeacked. Jim thought that if he still doesn’t get help, at least he will sink and get to file in an insurance claim. But sinking wasn’t what his problem was.

After 3 hours of sailing, pirates appeared out of nowhere and attacked the boat, killing already half of the crew. Jim was among the lucky 7 that survived. “Well, this is….interesting” said Jim, when confronted by a pirate. He didn’t look anything like Jim would have imagined a pirate. He had both his eyes and legs and didn’t wear a goofy hat, though he still wore a thick beard.

The pirates took the group to their island, where they were eaten, one-by-one. As Jim was only left, he wasn’t even bothered by it. They started to eat him as well, starting from his legs. They had ony finished with a few of his toes, when his phone rang. This startled the pirates, making them run for their life. “Who would’ve thought that Rebecca Black’s Friday even works on pirates?” said Jim. The few pirates, remaining, wanted to crown Jim, king of the island.

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