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  • Silver 19:29 on June 1, 2011 Permalink |
    Tags: mondaytask5   

    We all are serious gahbah’s! 

    The Earth…. A wonderful place that provides us with all the living conditions: food, water, oxygen and most of all a place to exist. This small planet, that we can call our own, has served its purpose for millions of years. But will there be millions to come? The ancient people, The Mayas would like to disagree. In fact, the world, according to them, will come to an end in late 2012. But can there be even a peak of truth in this abstract and outrageous claim, which has been around much longer than every one of us can remember? Some people tend to agree yet some others do not. Will the gods come to Earth again to start another cycle of life? Will the, more powerful than ever, magnetic storms from the Sun make us lose all of our technology thus making us immobile and dazed? Or will we just go through the period like it was nothing, living to tell the tail? Answers to these questions are to be answered when the time comes, may it be one or the other.
    Putting the sudden combustion of the earth aside for now, we might still wonder whether we, humans, are to exist here for another million years. It may well be that way, but the way that some people are spending, consuming and wasting today, there is no bright future to be seen. As global warming may or may not be a major issue, we can be sure that the activities we find ourselves in now, are certainly not so healthy to our mother earth or to ourselves.
    What about OIL? Is it not the single most used resource at this very moment? Me, writing and You reading are spending valuable energy, collected into fossils. But could this energy be used in a more productive way? The simple answer to this would be no. This is just because a small group of people can’t make a difference, or can they… well don’t get your hopes up… what is a thousand, ten thousand people percentage wise, when it comes to the roughly 7 billion people of the world… nothing. People of our generation, of our global universe have just got to used to the fact that we have all the wonderful technology. But the question remains… will there be an end? Well… no, because as the greedy bastards we are, we will be constantly moving in the direction of discovering new ways of cheap energy, that will yet again power our need for economically unfriendly technology.
    But what about all the litter we produce, will we once be buried within? One might guess that’s the answer, but there could be many possible solutions. We could hire space-mutant-Martian-guys to take all of this waste to some other unsuspecting planet (more debris around Uranus? :P), or realistically speaking, make the best out of the situation… let’s recycle trash and use it once more. Then we shall inhabit this planed for another million years.
    For more information CALL 1800 – HAHA SUCKERS –> You too can make a difference!

     
  • alex 19:17 on June 1, 2011 Permalink |
    Tags: mondaytask5   

    It was a regular night for Uimo He… 

    It was a regular night for Uimo. He was just sitting at home minding his own business when suddenly somebody in his msn started speaking to him. That somebody was Max. He was asking Uimo to come to a party which was going to take place in two hours. Uimo was hesitant at first because he does not socialize at all with Max but then thought that this would be a perfect opportunity to mingle with people. In a few moments everything was set. Uimo knew where to go and how to get there.
    Uimo started preparing himself for the big night ahead. He slapped on his dads cologne, put on his swankiest clothes and gelled his hair. When he looked in the mirror he was pleased with what he saw. It was time to set out to the party. In 30 minutes he arrived and already heard the heavy music beating 500 feet away. He met up with Max and got to know him a little better. During the night he danced a lot, met some new friends and got the opportunity to talk to some girls. It was everything he could have ever imagined. Quite soon though most of the liquor was gone and the remaining dudes and chicks wanted some food. Uimo and a couple of his new friends decided that one guy with a motorbike would go to the nearest McDonalds and bring back a huge amount of burgers.
    Everybody agreed to the plan and gave the guy the money to go and buy the food. The motorcycle whisked away into the darkness and in an hour was back with the food. Everybody came to claim their load of meat including Uimo. Uimo ordered the most food: two big macs, a big tasty and 6 cheeseburgers. He gobbled them down like a monster until he was so full that he could not move. After that so to say epic mealtime the group disbanded. Uimo went home and had a good 10 hours of sleep. When he woke up he felt the need to go to the bathroom to take a massive dump. He sat there for a good 20 minutes. Finally he was finished and satisfied. He started to go to the TV when suddenly his stomach started to turn. At that very precise moment the phone rang. He picked it up and from it a voice asked ” How are those laxatives working out for you”. At that split second Uimo knew that the crap session before had ended only to begin again. He shat for the next two days only to begin again after one day. Ultimately his intestines did not hold out and he died of distressed diarrhea syndrome. Even in his coffin he shat his pants multiple times. This was the story of Uimo the SHATANATOR.

     
  • Taavi 18:12 on June 1, 2011 Permalink |
    Tags: mondaytask5   

    “And so it ends, only to begin again”. 

    It is 1st of June and the IB year 1 ends. But does it mean there is no homework? No it just ends to begin again. Just so you know for summer “holidays” the necessary assignments include “ITGS Project, TOK essay, Math Porfolio, Extended Essay, Bunch of lab reports, etc.”. Lets just say you are sitting at your laptop reading this sentence and you know that there is 31 degrees outside but NO! you cannot leave your laptop and go to the beach. It is just because you know the school has ended just to begin again on holidays. Yeah it is great to study not so much. But well there is nothing you can do, even your excessive computer skills will not help you because time is limited and you cannot cheat now by just posting this post before the deadline unfinished and finishing it after the deadline by just editing the post before Paavo can read it. Yeah we all know you have done it, you cannot hide it from the PAFF. But actually this is not what I wanted to discuss today, it was just an intro to the wonderful summer in front of us.
    The reality is that it seems as the world as we know it is coming to an end. As we all have noticed there are frequent blackouts. It is actually the all mighty GOD testing his new supercomputer the Yobibytus. And yes we are talking here about the main character in the fiction work “The Bible.” Just to be on the safe side I must quote Urban Dictionary “And God replied: I am Who Am.
    And Moses quickly corrected him saying that it should be I am Who Is. But God never was any good at grammar.” Yes, that’s right GOD has never been good at grammar that’s why he probably misspelled “Job”ibytus. Though we all know it is hard to remember your best friend’s name after drinking wine night’n’day. But what do we know its GOD we are talking about. Well, back to the topic, GOD was testing his supercomputer, but frankly he forgot that he was using Windows. At the moment when he was going to hit enter after having typed GOD into the Google Search (Yes, we all like google’ing ourselves, isn’t it funny?? Anybody? Ah, forget it!).Anyways at the very moment the thing what we love the most about Windows happened. Yup, the Windows Update restarted the computer just because it can. That made GOD so furious that he said: “That its!” (Mind his great grammar) And on that very moment on 21st of December 2012 he ended the company called “Microsoft”. All normal people were so happy that the empire had fallen that they all killed themselves just to praise GOD. And so it ends… The World as we know it of course…. but only to begin again…

    THE PROBHET

     
  • Sander 18:10 on June 1, 2011 Permalink |
    Tags: mondaytask5   

    And so it ends, only to begin again. 

    Sometime in the not so distant future….

    Pacing back and forth in his office, Steve kept periodically looking at his watch in an attempt to tell whether it was time to leave or not. These last few days, Silicon valley had become a most gloomy and unwelcoming place.
    When the clock finally struck eleven, Steve started packing to leave. He only took the most necessary things out of his office. His iPhone, an aluminium apple, and a newton tablet computer, running the most recent Newton OS. There was not a single device which could beat the Newton at using a calculator, marking things down in one’s calendar and, well, playing solitaire. Having packed up, Steve quickly left his office, and made his way out of the building.
    Saying goodbye to the security guard, Steve made note of the several obnoxiously-sized apple logos which could be found on the outside of the building. “Huh”, he thought “Never did like those stupid things…”.
    Upon reaching his car, Steve started fiddling with his keyring to find the proper key for his iCar, he heard a noise over his shoulder. Turning his head to see what had made it, He just heard someone scream,”GATES IS THE ONLY TRUE GOD” and a loud gunshot. Faster than Steve could say “20,00 user API’s” he felt a sharp burning pain in  his left shoulder. In a showing of panic-crazed genius, Steve unholstered his Newton and threw it at his assailant. Having been hit in the head with a tablet computing sensation, the man crumpled to the ground.
    This gave Steve sufficient time to climb into his iCar and drive off, leaving only the smell of burnt rubber in his wake.
    The stinging in Steve’s arm had subsided for the timebeing, allowing him to properly drive his car. After rounding the corner of Silicon valley, Steve was encountered by a view of Los Angeles. The white, unibody designed buildings stood out in the night, as did the LA national Apple plaza. A monolithic white idol in the midst of the city of angels, truly a sight to behold. The people had reacted relatively calmly to Apple’s taking over of the city, and gradually the whole world. Your average Joe had become accustomed to taking an iBus to work, just to return to his iHouse later in the day. Unpleasant it may seem, but the Apple corporation had solved global warming, poverty, and bad usability.
    Steve often pondered the weight his choice had had on the world, coming to the conclusion that he just had to save the ignorant hairless apes from themselves before it was too late. He had given them the iPod, the iPhone, the iPad, and finally, the perfect iLife. A few still bothered to fight against him. Gates-ists, as they called themselves. A bunch of angry young men! He had not seen Bill gates for over a decade. Reportedly, he had just disappeared from his mansion, not even leaving behind a single USB stick. Way back when, Bill had not shared his views on saving humanity from themselves, yet he had no weapon against iLife.
    Looking around the car for something to stop the bleeding, Steve noted, that he was out of gas. This meant he had to find shelter for the night. Deciding to go wash his wound on the beach, Steve started making his way down the highway on foot. In a frenzy of scrubbing his wound with an iNapkin, Steve got an eerie feeling in the back of his throat.  Turning around suddenly, he heard another gunshot. Only this time, it took him down to the ground. Spasming in pain, Steve heard a voice say “Its over, Jobs.” . He identified the man by the glasses he wore. It was Bill gates. His face scarred, and not at all reminiscent of his previous dashingly nerdy good looks. He wore a solemn look on his face, as if he didn’t enjoy doing this.
    “Its all over, Steve. Without you, they’ll be like a snake without a head.”
    Not waiting for an answer, Bill started making his way off the beach. He stopped in his tracks, hearing a heartbreaking laugh coming from the beach. Turning around, he saw Steve, covered in blood, holding an iPhone.
    “You forget, brother. There’s an app for that!”
    Suddenly, Bill was pulverized by a laser coming from the top of the Apple plaza. It was no pleasure to see a friend die like this, but Steve was proud he had made such a grandiose last stand. Rolling over onto his back, he looked out to sea.
    Before taking his last breath, Steve muttered
    “And so it ends, only to begin again”
    Bathing in the rays of the rising sun, Steve found solace…

     
  • Erik-Silver Toomere 10:13 on May 30, 2011 Permalink |
    Tags: clusterphoque, , mondaytask5   

    And so it ends, only to begin again 

    And thus the cosmical event was drawing to an end. Event which can only be witnessed once in two millennia. We were the few who were to witness it. Before us no one had seen it nor will no one for the next 2000 years. If there will be anyone remaining that is. We stared at it. We were awestruck. No one dared say a word. Not because they were afraid to ruin the moment, simply no one could say a word. Our throats were clenched shut, our bodies struggled to breathe the sweet air; our minds preoccupied with the observation of what later was only to be known simply by the name of Cosmical Event 241.

    I hereby announce that -name redacted- is now a fully sanctioned and legalized firm.

    Proxima-7 CE-241 will be a regular CE. They don’t need to know about the riff-raff found on the Uninet!

    Al-Qaeda has taken full responsibility for the attacks on the…

    Today a South-Korean frigate was sunk by a mysterious torpedo fired from…

    President -redacted- will be meeting with President -redacted- and President -redacted- today to speak of changing the nature and scale of warfare in what was once known as Africa.

    What surprised everybody was the fact that humans didn’t run into aliens. In actuality we’ve met at least 43 different alien races, the Tri-Government just decimated them, took the technology and claimed it as their Discovery. However via Uninet rumours and photographic evidence spread that indeed there have been alien races, that they all prophesied their end and that after, which now we know by the aforementioned name of Cosmical Event 241 we the humans would find… something that could match us and end us.

    We have picked up certain… events taking place in random places in the universe. What should we do about them?

    It is amazing! We are all witnessing the beginning of a time of peace!

    This is 6-1, come in Alpha Base.
    Alpha Base here, reading you loud and clear 6-1.
    Roger. Alpha Base, we have arrived at P-SS4-P7, how copy?
    Copy. ETA of CE24… 1 is… T minus 2 Mikes.
    Affirmative, T minus 2 Mikes, clocks synced. 6-1 out.
    Clocks synced, gear active and… Cap, we are picking up radiation!
    Settle down, is it within acceptable boundaries?
    Uh… yes-yes it is, sorry.
    No worries, understandable surprise. Not like you trained for 2 years or anything…
    Oh shut up. T minus 1 Mike.
    I don’t think it’s going to get bumpy but maybe we should get into the har-
    WHAT WAS THAT CRASH?
    THE TEAR, IT’S RIPPING OPEN SOONER!
    STABILIZE, STABILIZE; ALPHA-BASE COME IN! ALPHA BA-
    Alpha Base here, 6-1 the tear opened up earl-
    THE TEAR OPENED UP, WE ARE LOSING CONTROL
    6-1 remember your training, if you follow the Emergency Protocol 1 you should be fine.
    COPY ALPHA BASE.
    OH DEAR THOR THE TEAR, IT-
    Come in 6-1. 6-1? 6-1 come in! COME IN 6-1!

    I think we lost 6-1, deep space scan for 6-1 when the event closes.

    We need to form special teams to seek out the CE’s!

    Why so hushed? Because Cosmical Event 241 was immediate proof which would have destroyed not one but three Universal Corporations or like they are fond of calling themselves: the Tri-Government Universal Union. The three corporations are ancient, they all found their beginning in the start of the 21st century, of course then no one would have believed that three little firms would evolve into corporations, that they would split the world into three, wage war for three centuries without actually decimating each other and then in a total turn of events and as a huge surprise they would join, blast off into space and start a de jure Millennia of Peace and Discovery which de facto meant that the human race turned into religious zealots that followed the simple religious principles of the Tri-Government and followed every order.

    CE-241 was another deep space event which can not be explained by modern technology.

    They don’t need to know about it.

    So the Tri-Government made The Six. Six scout ships filled with six crew members each who would check and observe Cosmical Events which could be detected by the state of the art technology. Of course their mission was classified but the First of The Six have now arrived at the edge of the Pegasus Sub-System 4 near the uncolonized and dead planet Proxima-7, here they will soon bear witness to the Cosmical Event 241. Here they will find the beginning to The End, and when it begins, The End will only be the beginning again.

     
    • Erik-Silver Toomere 10:16 on May 30, 2011 Permalink | Log in to Reply

      It’s okay if reading this will make your brain hurt. I went Brostadamus on it.

  • Paavo Viilup 09:07 on May 30, 2011 Permalink |
    Tags: , mondaytask5   

    Monday text production 

    Some people clearly wish to practice creative writing, here’s a chance to do just that.

    Please write either an essay or a piece of flash fiction.

    The title is “And so it ends, only to begin again”.

    EDIT-MAKE: Due date is Wednesday evening.

     
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